I’ve been losing myself
the past has hunt me forever since
scars that don’t bleed but feel like never recover
feeling safe on top of the cliff but feeling insecure on solid ground?
living through everyone else’s expectations
trying to be just another grey brick on the wall
and fit somewhere where I never belonged
At some point of life and relationships my stubborn and unique head gave up, maybe I felt like I had enough, and let the wrong people see the true me, I let them affect me and change me not for the better, the last past year I made it back to myself, but once you let them in is hard to kick them out of your mind.
Anxiety and stress
too many thoughts
too worried
very controlling
fears, abandonnment, disappointment, heartbreak.
Feeling new emotions with a new perspective is blowing my mind, I’m a new me, but this book I’m writting my story on has already been started and is hard to make a good bridge between the two lives that I got.
Loving, missing, changing.
When you look for the perfect path for so long is hard to believe that one day it will come to you out of nowhere, it makes you distrust and wonder what have you done to find such an incredible thing now, but is not something out of nowhere, is was probably always there but you were too blind to see it, all this time polishing the same rocks have finally shown their shine.
We believe is not just coincidence but a consequence of the logos that we met, and I believe that writting this now and thinking about this right now is also part of the logos. In order to keep growing I need a safe and secure space, and here with him I finally found it.
I understand what I feel, yet is inevitable to feel it
The only way to grow out of this feelings is going through them
It will hurt, burn, make me crazy and desperate but I’m sure i’ll find a way to feel better and never come back to thes fears and feelings again.
The answer is be me, and trust, I’ve attracted many beautiful things and moments just being myself, so to continue attracting beautiful things and moments I should just be myself. It will all come to me.
If you want butterflies in your garden don’t chase them, build a garden that can be a safe home for butterflies to live in and they will come to you. (I think credits of the metaphor are for Mario Quintana)